Dear Dream,

I've been chasing you for quite some time now. I feel as if you are still so far away. One minute I’m onto you and the next I’ve never felt so far away from you. Why is this? Why does it seem like you are running from me? Is it something I have done? Is it because I’ve fucked up so much in my past that you feel as if I do not deserve you? Tell me; because right now is when I need to know. Right now, at this all time low, I feel as if it's never going to happen. I feel as if I’m mediocre. Not special. Okay at what I do.

Perhaps I should give up on you? Perhaps I should walk away, go back to school and never look back. But shit I breathe you. I need you. I long for you. Everything I do and everything I touch reminds me of you. The very air I breathe sings your song different from all the rest. You are the reason I’m a better person today. You are my safe haven. I struggle because I want you. I struggle because I need you.

So why am I doubting you? Better yet, why do I doubt myself? I am you and you are me. So much of you need me and every part of me needs you.

I don't have many people that believe in me, but there are a few. I love them for that although I may not voice it. I am hard headed and I have my ways about me. But I am me. I am trying. I've never wanted something so much in my life. I've never fought so hard for one thing... And sometimes that struggle to get there is difficult. Sometimes I feel as if maybe a little too difficult. Guess I have to remember that nothing happens overnight. Guess I should take the time to realize this time last year, I was further away from you than I am now.

Baby steps, right?

I have to learn to enjoy the journey.

After all, I am destined for something great...

[Or am I?]